Overcoming F.E.A.R

31 May

This topic is based on False Evidence Appearing Real otherwise known as FEAR. This horrible mind-set will limit your potential.

There is a story of a lady whose child fell from stadium bleachers. They were so high up that the fear  of something traumatic happening was real. The mom raced down not knowing whether her son was ok or not. Heart pounding, body shaking. She got there and luckily where he fell he was only left with bumps and bruises. That feeling of the unknown was true fear.

After a few days of recovering from the shock. She realized how the FEAR of getting on the phone, following up with a prospect, asking for people to host parties was really nothing in comparison.

You know how you are on a plane and the steward or stewardess asks if you would like a drink. Some say yes, some say NO. For the ones that say NO  to her do you think she runs back,  straps herself in her seat and cries because no-one wanted a drink? Of course, she didn’t. Do not take it personally.

Plus, a NO may not mean – “no, not ever.” It may mean “no, not now.”

It is very important to have the right mindset and ways to over come this F.E.A.R (false evidence appearing real)

  1. Get out of the mind-set of get, get, get. Turn it to GIVE, GIVE, GIVE.- There needs to be value of what you are offering. Why would they want your opportunity or product over someone elses? Give yourself unconditionally to people. They will join or will refer others to you. I used to go to certain networking groups and many of the people wanted business from me. They didn’t ask if I could use the service or product and they are definitely not there to build a relationship. Then move on to someone else to give their card too. Beng in direct sales is about relationships.
  2. Listen to them and keep your mouth shut. Don’t give them all the information at once. Is it a customer, prospect or friend, sharing a story of financial heartache, time management, wanting independence, hating their job?Just listen. Do not say “Oh, then do I have an opportunity for you!”. Validate their feelings. “Yes, I know how you feel” If you don’t know how they feel, don’t lie and say you do. Say ‘I had a friend in the same situation.” Acknowledge this, maybe ask questions that can help them find the solution. “Mary, if you did have an extra $500 a month I am sure that will help you with the car payment.” And see where the conversation goes. When you start seeing dollar signs in your eyes, you forget the whole picture which is the person.
  3. Build the relationship. I can’t say this often enough. Find out about them. It is not all about you.
  4. Not everyone will like you and vice versa. Find the people you can create a synergy with. Understand that it is ok that if you are trying to recruit someone and they join someone else’s team. Don’t get frustrated or talk about the other consultant behind their back. Be BIG and accept it and know that it happens.
  5. Let things just flow. I find that when I kept pressuring myself to gain new customers or recruits I didn’t get anywhere. I seemed desperate. Just let your true, wonderful personality shine. Yes, we all have goals. However, I felt that when I let go, my goals just happened. Write down your goals on paper and forget about it. Create a goal/dream board. Your dreams are there waiting for you. Because if you can play it in your mind. It already exists.
  6. Conduct Interviews. Ask them simple questions. 1. Ask questions about them. “So Heather, what do you like to do?, “What do you do for a living?’ Elaborate and have them tell you more. You will be amazed what you can learn about someone. Question 2. “If there is one thing they can change in their life, what would it be?” Some people say more money. or time with kids, or wanting to travel. Elaborate on those. Finally, ask permission if you can tell them why you joined your company and if from a 1-4 would want more information. 1 being I never want to do this, 2 and 3 I want more information or 4 Absolutely I want to sign up. Offer them a free gift for their time with this 20 min. interview. And do not pressure or make them feel obligated. If they say a two or a three, offer them a 24 hour waiting period and if they can’t get it out of their head then this may be for them.  Say you will contact them the next day to hear their answer. AND call them. Do not say you will call and don’t.
  7. Ask if you can keep them informed of new sign up opportunities. Don’t just automatically add them to your list. Ask for permission always. They may not join that moment. It may be a few months or a year. But stay in touch.

Once you practice these tips you will find that when sharing your opportunity it will be a lot easier. Changing your mind-set will also produce better results in every aspect of your life. By learning more about them and their personality you can select who you want to work with and who you do not.


Debbie Shulman, Creator and President of Home Party Divas, LLC. Mother to 4 amazing kids and wife to her supportive husband, Michael. Living in FL and helping women help women.


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